Terms of Unservice

Welcome to Frugal Benjamin’s Terms of Unservice. By accessing our site, you agree to the following absurdities:

1. Acceptance of Nonsense: By reading our content, you acknowledge that all news here is purely satirical. Facts have no place in our articles.
2. Wit and Wisdom Warranty: While we channel the spirit of Benjamin Franklin, we guarantee neither the accuracy nor the sanity of our content. Enjoy at your own risk.
3. Nonexistent Legal Liability: We are not responsible for any laughter-induced injuries, bewilderment, or sudden urges to question reality. Seek medical help if you find yourself believing our stories.
4. Privacy Invasion: We promise not to collect any data, mostly because we lack the technical know-how. Your secrets are safe because we never asked for them.
5. Commenting Chaos: Feel free to leave comments, but know that any insightful discourse may be met with humorous retorts from our staff or possibly Ben Franklin himself.
6. Intellectual Property Rights: All content is the intellectual property of Ben Franklin’s spirit. Reproduction is encouraged, provided it’s done with a wink and a nod.
7. Subscription Scam: Subscribing to our newsletter guarantees weekly doses of nonsense, poorly proofread by our spectral editorial team.
8. Complaints Protocol: Any complaints will be addressed via a séance. Results are not guaranteed as Ben Franklin’s availability is subject to his whims.

By continuing to peruse Frugal Benjamin, you accept these whimsical terms. Embrace the absurdity and enjoy your stay!