Frequently Asked Questions

Welcome to Frugal Benjamin’s FAQ page, where we answer your most pressing (and absurd) questions with a touch of wit and a sprinkle of nonsense.

Can I really contact Ben Franklin through your site?

Of course! Simply light a candle, chant “A penny saved is a penny earned,” and send your question into the ether. If Ben doesn’t respond, try again during a full moon.

Is any of this real?

Real is such a subjective term. If you believe in the magic of satire and the power of a good laugh, then yes, it’s all as real as you want it to be.

How do I become a mental medium to channel Ben Franklin?

Start by mastering the art of kite-flying during thunderstorms. After that, a rigorous course in 18th-century wisdom and a dash of imagination should do the trick. Certification not included.

Why is the news here cheaper than my morning coffee?

We believe in frugality and fun. By skipping the truth, we cut costs dramatically, passing the savings (and laughs) on to you. Enjoy the nonsense, it’s on the house.

Can I contribute to Frugal Benjamin?

Absolutely! Submit your most outlandish, humorous news pieces to our editorial team via carrier pigeon or smoke signal. We accept submissions written in invisible ink, too.

What if I don’t find your jokes funny?

Laughter is subjective. If our jokes don’t tickle your funny bone, we recommend a quick tickle fight with a friend. If that doesn’t work, please send us a humorous complaint written in iambic pentameter.

Is it true that Benjamin Franklin haunts your offices?

Yes, and he insists on giving us unsolicited advice on everything from printing presses to kite safety. His presence is mostly harmless, except when he rearranges our furniture.

How often do you update your absurd news?

Our team of highly-trained humorists works around the clock (mostly in their dreams) to bring you fresh absurdity as often as possible. Check back frequently for your daily dose of nonsense.

Can I unsubscribe from your newsletter?

Why would you want to? But if you must, simply send us a handwritten letter using 18th-century calligraphy, and we’ll consider it—after we’ve had a good laugh.

We hope this FAQ page has answered your most bewildering questions. Remember, at Frugal Benjamin, the only thing you should take seriously is our commitment to never taking anything seriously.