Kim Jong-un Throws Epic Tantrums Over Trash Balloon Fiasco
Less than a week after we gave you the scoop about North Korea’s ballons of trash, we have just learned the Supreme Toddler – correction, “Leader” has been down in the dumps. Leaked reports reveal the Supreme Leader was none too pleased to discover that his attempts at terrorizing South Korea with airborne refuse had backfired, leaving his global reputation in the dumps.
According to the reports, Kim Jong-un threw a series of temper tantrums that would make a toddler proud. One aide, speaking on the condition of anonymity (for obvious reasons), described the scene: “He stomped his feet, threw his hat, and screamed, ‘I am a nuclear threat, not a trash collector!’ It was quite the spectacle.”
It seems Kim believed these rubbish-ridden balloons would instill fear and confusion, but instead, they became the butt of international jokes. The world couldn’t help but chuckle at the sight of used toilet paper, kimchi wrappers, and cigarette butts fluttering down like misguided confetti. The dictator’s image as a fearsome despot was swiftly replaced by one of a disgruntled garbage man.
Faced with the reality that his trashy tactics were tarnishing his tyrannical street cred, Kim reportedly ordered an immediate halt to the trash balloon campaign. “This is a new low,” he allegedly muttered, before turning his focus back to more traditional forms of intimidation—like scowling menacingly at photos of world leaders.
As the dust settles, or rather, as the trash lands, the world waits with bated breath for Kim’s next move. One thing is clear: the Supreme Leader’s quest for respect might need a serious cleanup.
