WHO Introduces New COVID Variant “FLiRT,” and Nobody Gives a Sh*t
In a surprising twist of pandemic fate, the World Health Organization (WHO) has announced the latest COVID-19 variant, whimsically named FLiRT. This new strain, which ironically emphasizes the very activity we’ve been avoiding for over three years, seems to be met with a collective “meh”.
Global Apathy Reaches New Heights
“FLiRT stands for Fast Lateral Transmission,” said a WHO spokesperson, trying to inject some urgency into their announcement. However, the public seems more interested in the latest TikTok dances and cat videos. Social media feeds were filled with sarcastic memes and yawning emojis, with one user commenting, “FLiRT? I thought it was a new dating app.”
Even governments and health agencies, usually the harbingers of dire warnings, seemed to struggle to muster the usual urgency. A spokesperson for the CDC was quoted saying, “We recommend continuing to practice caution, but let’s be honest, who are we kidding? Just keep doing whatever you’re doing.”
WHO’s Ironic Naming Scheme
The WHO’s decision to name this variant FLiRT has not gone unnoticed, with the irony lost on absolutely no one. A virus that encourages social distancing named FLiRT—could there be a more perfect punchline in this global comedy of errors?
Health experts and comedians alike are having a field day. “This is the best joke the WHO has ever told,” quipped a late-night talk show host. “A virus named FLiRT? What’s next, a diet pill called ‘Binge’?”
Even the WHO’s own officials seemed a bit sheepish. “We wanted a name that would capture the public’s attention,” one official admitted. “Though, in hindsight, maybe ‘FLiRT’ wasn’t the best choice.”
As the world collectively gives a “WHO cares” shrug, it’s clear that while FLiRT might be the new variant on the block, it’s not going to be the one that steals our hearts—or our attention. So, for now, keep your masks handy and your sense of humor closer. Because in the world of pandemics, sometimes all we can do is laugh.
